Works of Art and What You Deserve: A blog post in two parts
I’ve been waiting to post this for a very long time. About 8 months ago, I had quite literally just started going on dates with Adam, and we were sent to NYC on a day-trip for work. By the time the work day ended, I was exhausted, defeated, and wildly crabby. The day had been a disaster and I was in a horrible mood. Adam is not a 'bad mood' person, and I was super irritable and annoyed with how wildly optimistic he was being. The day had been tough. We had about 45 minutes to kill between the end of the work day and when we needed to head back to the airport. We were a couple of blocks from the Museum of Modern Art, which holds “Starry Night”, a painting I’d been desperate to see since I was young. This painting speaks volumes about hope, darkness and fighting through difficult times, and it’s one that I’ve cherished the idea of for years. I mentioned it to Adam, and he immediately said, “If you want to see it, let’s go.” SO this post deals with two things: the work of art and what you deserve.
A Work of Art:
Vincent Van Gogh created "Starry Night". The scene was the view from Van Gogh's room in an asylum, where he battled mental illness long before it was a topic that was even remotely accepted by the modern world. The painting has a town that Van Gogh idealized. "The sight of the stars always makes me dream,” he wrote in a letter to his brother.
In the darkest of moments, in the most hopeless of places, beauty was found and created. This is such a beautiful symbol of hope for people like me, who often find themselves feeling trapped in difficult situations or dark moments. Standing in front of this painting was surreal. It felt intimate and humbling to see history and emotion in each brushstroke that has been preserved over time. It felt as though there was no one else in the room, even though there were dozens of bystanders staring at something that I am still not convinced they fully understood. It was beautiful, mesmerizing and striking. I will forever look back at that day as one of the most fulfilling I've ever experienced. I had a dream come true, and in a moment of pure exhaustion and total humility, my knees hit the ground of the elevator I took to the bottom floor. I felt content, fulfilled and happy.
What You Deserve:
I spent my college years dating boys that seemed incredible for the first couple of months, but quickly turned into toxic, abusive people. I believed that this was normal, because it was all I had experienced. I had never had anyone go above and beyond to take care of me on my darker days. I'd never had anyone say, "What do you need? What can I do for you?"
BUT Y'ALL LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT DAY AND MY GUY.
I honestly spent the entire day complaining and whining about the situations we had been shoved into, how we were going to be chewed out at work for things that weren't our fault, and how tired my feet were from walking. This man should've said "Okay honestly. Shut up. You are a handful, and I'm not sure that I want to deal with this in a relationship." BUT HE DIDN'T SAY THAT.
This man listened to the first thing I said that wasn't a complaint and said "Let's go." He walked with me (and carried all of our gear) right into the MOMA and waited patiently on the bottom floor as I sprinted to the gallery that held this painting. Because of this man, a wild job and a $7 ticket, I was able to fulfill a dream.
It took months for me to process all of this. I spent years of my life doing life with people who didn't say "If you want this, let's go." I live my life now with people who do, with people who see my worth and see my desires and needs and live alongside me, but there are two parts to this. To live a life with those people, you have to become one. You have to be selfless enough to say to others what you want to hear. You have to be able to look at them and push for what they want, and help them fulfill their dreams and desires. I believe that you get what you deserve when you become what you deserve. And I believe that that comes through an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. It comes when you look at Jesus and say, I know that you want me, help me become who you want me to be.
You are a work of art. What you are, what you stand for? Those things make you a work of art.